To people, I am seen to be a bubbly, easy-going, chilled and friendly person Quite carefree and overly optimistic. At least to the extent that my demeanor is not mistaken for being cold and unapproachable. I am rather blunt and straightforward. I do recognize myself to be a quintessential of a determined and strong-willed person.
However, for those who don’t know me too well I am a fairly guarded person. I do keep a distant from people. I tend not to reveal a lot about myself or expose my true emotions to people.
Being vulnerable is a huge attribute when it comes to having a deep intimate sincere relationship with someone. Whether in friendship or romance. When you become vulnerable you allow your most truest self be exposed to the world. You let your heart wide open, unguarded and available to be loved or hurt. That is the moment you put your trust in someone and give your heart to them, where you believe they would love you just as you are.
Sometimes I can seem to be disinterested in people who courageously approach me. I apologize to those I hurt by my lack of expression.
Although I try to convince myself that I don’t need anybody. That I am an independent strong women… the kind like ‘ I don’t need no man’. But I came to realization that the reason why I shut people out or why I distant myself emotionally from people..is that I am afraid and I fear. Fear motivated by rejection, failing in love, being misunderstood, being labelled, being criticized..or even the fear of people leaving when they find out who I truly am.
I also learnt that I can only be vulnerable after knowing your worth. Being okay with all of you. Loving yourself unconditionally.
I want reveal my most authentic self to those who I love. To those who surround me. I want them to experience who I am. I want to form deep sincere connections with people.
To truly love, is to be vulnerable.